What is happiness?
Times are not happiness. They might be glimpses of happy situations, of glimpses of what we recognize as the ideal. Almost like we suddenly stumbled into what we imagine is someone else's life, their situation. Grasping onto that fleeting moment, and then slowly drifting into melancholy as it retreats into the distance. Melancholy and disillusion, continuous and only occasionally overshadowed by moments of fleeting happiness. The ephemeral nature of this happiness only adds to the depth of disillusion.
Happiness is....is not something that i can define for someone else. I know what makes me happy: adventure, discovery, camaraderie, love, accomplishment, contentment. That's not the same list for everyone, or anyone; it doesn't matter to me. It's what makes me happy.
I can't define someone else's happiness. I can try to augment it, add new facets to it, help them open new avenues to it that they may never have known existed within themselves. What makes me happy might not make them happy, and I might not understand just what it is that makes them happy. Or not happy, or somewhere in between. I can try, but all my trying might not work, might never make them happy because i'm chasing some avenue that i think will bring them happiness, and yet doesn't, and never will.
If i can't understand what brings them happiness...where do i fit in?
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ahhhh.... i'm under the impression that true lasting happiness can only be achieved through yourself. but maybe i'm wrong. maybe i've been wrong. i know that i need other people to be happy, but i've never wanted to be dependent on other people for my happiness. is that contradictory in some way? i guess what everyone is looking for is someone who adds to their life and not detracts from it.
happiness is like a language and sometimes not everyone speaks the same language. that's ok. you find out what language the people you care about speak and you try to pick it up, communicate with it, work through the misunderstandings.... and sometimes, people just aren't happy unless they get the moon. but i think everyone deserves the moon. i want the moon. i want the everything. i want to be romanced by life.
you deserve the moon, you deserve everything, you deserve to be romanced by life.
what am i talking about? i don't know. but we all want to feel connected in some way, right? we crave being valued, being wanted, feeling like we belong and that the people we care about care about us. without that, sometimes we get lost. or maybe i do. without that, my happiness wanes.
most importantly, i think i get my happiness from knowing i make other people happy. not just happy ha ha but happy because i'm part of their life. but when you start to feel unwanted, undervalued, like you're a piece of furniture in the way or like you're not really worth the effort or grandeur, you forget that you make them happy.
does any of this make sense?
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